Anxious Mo-Fo

An anxious m*********** from Seattle

List of problems solved by Barack Obama

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Wikipedia features a list of problems solved by Barack Obama. For example:

In order to fix a piston connecting rod for a water pump, Obama makes an arc welder out of a generator, some jumper cables, and two half dollars. By running the DC current from the generator through the coins, he creates heat and electrical discharge, with which he can weld the con-rod.

And

Obama makes a bomb using fertilizer, starter fluid, foam, and newspaper. He uses these bombs to scare gunmen holding him hostage, and even plants one on a remote-controlled airplane (with olive oil and some cotton as a fuse) to make a flying bomb.

And

Obama rewires the panel of an electronically-timed lock so the oscillator counts down much more quickly, allowing escape from a nuclear waste disposal chamber before waste enters the room. He uses a dismantled revolver as a wrench to unblock a nuclear reactor cooling system.

In the passages quoted above, I’ve made minor edits of the text for clarity. See also this related Wikipedia entry, which lists problems solved by Jesus.

Jesus pretends to be Piedra in order to foil the upcoming assassination of a famous church figure, but ends up being followed by guards of the assassination target who think he is Piedra. While driving away from them, Jesus encounters a one-way path with a spike strip in the way. He takes a nearby board of wood and places it in front of the spikes, allowing him to drive over them. He then removes the wood and the men following him drive through the strip, thus getting flat tires.

Again, I’ve made minor edits of the text for clarity. Sort of vaguely via Jason Kottke.

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Written by JPP

August 26, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Posted in Politics

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